The hiatus is over

I'm back, finally. I've ignored the blog for the last two weeks (as if you don't know that already) due to Midterms. Plus a project meeting with my graduate committee.  It's been a rough last couple of weeks, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I'll go ahead and schedule another two-week hiatus at the beginning of December. Finals and all, you know. Consider yourself warned.

Summarizing the last two weeks in a sentence is pretty easy. I am still pain free, even without the birth control pills. It's wonderful. I've learned that I can eat a little soy (trace amounts, think barbecue sauce or a hotdog bun) without pain. As long it's only one meal and I am careful to avoid soy the next few days, I'm just fine.

That's good to know, because as I've said before - there will be times in the future when I cannot avoid it. There are plenty of conference and trade show boxed lunches in my future, I'm afraid. But at least I know how to eat and not hurt. It's pretty amazing.

Winter is Coming!

I detest winter. I'm not even that far North, but it's as far as I want to go. But I love fall. I love all the bright colors, the cool breezes, the lack of humidity, and the crunch of leaves under foot. It's just wonderful.

And I love pumpkin. Pie, bread, cheesecake (although that is but a far and distant memory). So today I've been baking sugar pumpkins, and washing and baking seeds for snacks. I'm scouring the internet for soy-free pumpkin recipes. I'll try to post more on those later this week. 

I'll also be posting on using fresh pumpkins instead of the nasty canned pumpkin that's full of chemicals (and probably soy, though I haven't verified it. Just a guess.) and artificial colorings. The real thing tastes so much better, and it's so easy I'll never use another can of pumpkin again.

Plus, a fresh sugar pumpkin (the small kind, maxing out at 5lbs) will last up to 6 months in a cool, dark location. That means pumpkin goodies at Easter! Or you can do as I do, and freeze the fresh pumpkin puree to use whenever you have a hankering.

Just a thought.

Sorry for the lack of pictures, but I promise I'll have plenty of pumpkin pictures soon....

The Life Sentence Is Over

Well it's been a month since I gave up soy in an attempt to overcome endometriosis-related pain. There have been a couple of instances where I know I've had trace soy, but for the most part I'm sans soy. The results? Glad you asked.

• The obvious one: I'm pain free. Even after dropping the birth control last week, I'm back to pain free. I don't think I can put coherent sentences together to describe just how happy and elated I am. But I finally have my quality of life back. It's pretty amazing.
• I've lost 4 pounds in a month. I know I'm not breaking any weight loss records with that one, but coming from someone who has lost and gained the same 2 pounds since January, it's exciting. 
• An aside: soy is known to inhibit thyroid activity. I've had my thyroid checked 4 different times in recent years because I always had so many symptoms of hypothyroidism, but the bloodwork always came back clean. Perhaps the soy was interfering with enzyme receptors.... this would explain the symptoms and lack of of affected bloodwork. Just thinking out loud here...
• I've also lost 2.75 inches this month, from all over, lending to the idea that the weight loss was mostly attributed to de-bloating. Know how when you get your period you bloat? Well that is attributed to elevated estrogen. So now that all of the soy-related estrogen is out of my body, the bloat has gone away. Thank goodness. Maybe more will follow.
• My skin looks great. I haven't changed my moisturizers or grooming habits, but my skin looks brighter. Before it was dry and drab. Now it's much smoother, and my skin tone has really evened out. I've never really worn make up, but now I feel like I can legitimately get away with it.
• I sleep better. For the last several months, sleep was an effort for me. I would either lay in bed for hours unable to fall asleep, or toss and turn in a barely asleep state of restlessness. Now I sleep through the night. And I'm asleep within an hour of going to bed.
• I have more energy. Clearly, this is likely correlated to the better quality of sleep. But it's still an improvement in my life. I don't get run down at 3 in the afternoon anymore.
• There are other improvements, but since my Mom reads this I think I'll keep them to myself. Just know that Brint is very supportive of my new lifestyle, and for good reason.

Originally I said I'd give this thing a month, and re-evaluate. Having done so, I can confidently say that I'll be making this a permanent lifestyle change. And I can't wait to tell my doctor, so hopefully she will pass the word on to her other endo patients.

The life sentence of endometriosis has not won.

Cream cheese, anyone?

I think I may have found the first item that I will have to give up absolutely.

Cream cheese. This includes cheese cake, cream cheese cake icings, and spinach artichoke dip (a stab in the heart). Why? Because I have yet to find a cream cheese that is soy free. Every one I've looked at has xanthan gum (which is yet another code name for soy).

I'm not exactly sure what xanthan gum does, or is... but it's there.

I've been able to substitute or make my own replacement for soy filled staples, and I've been trying to find ways to make my own cream cheese, but no dice. I don't think it's going to be as easy as making my own bread if I do find a recipe.

And I just realized that my grandmother's famous pound cake has cream cheese in it as well. Rats.

Well here's to you, cream cheese pound cake, cheese cake, cream cheese icing, and spinach dips: we had a good run, but I'm afraid the fun is over...

C'est la vie...

Marinade Escapade

Most ready to use marinades are full of soy, usually in the form of natural flavors and/or xanthan gum. Not a huge issue since Brint prefers to make his own marinades and rubs, except when it comes to pork. And I was very happy to learn that our go-to pork marinade is sans soy.

Here's the ingredients list:

Very nice. We've never tried it on poultry but I'm sure it would be good. We threw in some golf ball peas (I've called them this since childhood, and probably always will) along with mac and cheese:

Very yummy.

And a pain update: since I've dropped the pill (3 nights ago), I've had some definite discomfort, usually in the evenings. I've been running to the ibuprofen at the first sign of trouble, so I'm not sure if it's better or worse than before. The discomfort is in conjunction with spotting, so I'm thinking this is just my body's pitiful excuse for a period. We'll see!

I totally expected this, though. I know my body is going to have to re-adjust to the new level of hormones, so I'm going to be patient. And I'll continue to run to the ibuprofen. As long as 2 pills are continuing my normality in lieu of 6, I'm pretty darn happy.

Sweet Nothings

Did you know most ice creams, frozen yogurts, and other frozen sweet treats all contain soy? Yep. Soy lecithin is an emulsifying agent used in the production of ice cream, not to mention the added ingredients like chocolate and caramel.

That's pretty disappointing, considering ice cream is my usual go-to when I have a sweet tooth. No longer.

But not to worry. I've got a replacement, courtesy of Hershey and their delectable fudge. You'll find the recipe here. Notice the warnings not to double the recipe or alter it in any way because it's an advanced recipe and is therefore easy to muddle? Well, I've made this recipe 3 times, following it to a T, with 3 different outcomes.

First time? It was perfect. If not I probably wouldn't have tried again.
Second time? It tasted great but stayed the consistency of chocolate sauce.
Third time? Perfect again. A richer chocolate taste, perhaps, but still very good.

I consider those to be pretty good odds, so I wanted to share the recipe here. Here's the progression:

This was just starting out...

Here it is boiling, but it hadn't reached 234 Fahrenheit yet....

Letting the butter and vanilla hang out until it cooled...

Make sure it's soy free butter! (i.e. unsalted...)

In a parchment paper-lined baking dish...

It only took about an hour to fully set, but it tastes better the next day (if you can wait that long!)

Mirena

I've had several questions about the Mirena, so I'm just going to create a post. Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, have never been trained as a medical professional, and do not endorse any course of treatment. Also, insertions are different for everyone, as are each person's personal threshold for pain. Take this with a grain of salt.

This will be another one of those TMI posts, so consider yourself warned.

In December 2010 I found myself in my new doctor's office at Johns Hopkins, hoping she wasn't going to prescribe yet another oral contraceptive (since clearly that wasn't working). It took about 3 minutes of me describing my worsening endo symptoms before she stopped me and asked if I would consider an IUD.

I thought she'd never ask.

She told me that in Europe Mirena has widely been accepted as a treatment option for endo, but because the FDA hasn't approved it here it is only considered birth control. She explained that the progesterone from the IUD would be released directly into the uterus, closer to the endo growths, so that it should help control my symptoms. It also keeps the hormones more localized, instead of coursing through my bloodstream as per oral birth control pills.

The plan was to use Mirena in conjunction with oral contraceptives for 3-4 months (it can take this long for the body to adjust to Mirena), and then quit the pills.

She petitioned my health insurance, who approved the insertion, and I completed my pre-insertion bloodwork. By this time it was February so I scheduled my insertion appointment for early Spring.

I've heard that many doctors are unwilling to insert Mirena if a woman hasn't had a child. If you have a similar doctor, find a new one. This is an old-fashioned approach and the numbers prove that there is no greater risk of complications, as long as you're willing to deal with the pain!

She told me she was going to give me a prescription to 'loosen my cervix' to take the night before the insertion since I'd never given birth. She didn't tell me the prescription is used to induce labor, but that's exactly what happened.

I took the medicine about 10PM and went to bed. At 2AM the contractions woke me up. It was terrible. Nothing helped - curling up into a ball, walking, laying still. It hurt no matter what. The magic of television had led me to believe that contractions come in waves, with periods of relief in between.

That's not what happens.

The contractions don't go away, they just ebb and flow in severity.

So by 8AM, my uterus was still contracting but sore at the same time. Interesting.

Brint stayed in the waiting room while I went back. I was expecting a quick in and out appointment, but later I wished I'd asked him to come with me.

She started out by giving me a shot in my cervix - I don't know if it was lidocaine or what, but it was for numbing purposes. Then it got pretty rough. She used a metal device to open the cervix, and then inserted the Mirena. It was kind of like inserting a tampon - there was a clear plastic straw that held the IUD, all folded up. The straw was inserted into the uterus, the IUD was pushed through the end, and the straw pulled out.

Easy enough, right? It was terrible. I was so certain that the contractions were going to be the worst part, but I was wrong. I got sick to my stomach due to the pain. I asked her how bad it would have been if my cervix hadn't been dilated a bit, and she just put her hand on my forehead and said, "much worse than this, dear". The doctor and nurse left me curled up in a little ball on the table until I felt better. She said I would be in intense pain until my uterus de-contracted, but that it was going to be knotted up for a while due to the IUD. I took some prescription strength ibuprofen and waited.

I wanted Brint, and he wasn't there, and I just wanted to go home, so I crawled over and put my clothes on and walked out even though the medicine hadn't kicked in yet. I was as white as a sheet from the pain, but I made it to the waiting room.

I laid in the back of the car on the way home and immediately went to bed when we got there. It took about 12 hours for the pain to subside. I bled some that day, but by the next night it stopped. After that, I would hurt erratically, usually when I tried to pick up anything heavier than about 8 or 10 pounds.

Mirena pain came and went after that. I learned that pain = spotting, and the doctor assured me this was normal. She said my uterus just had to get used to that 'thing living inside of it'.

And after about 3 months it did. It was wonderful, for about 6 weeks. Then the endo pain came back (I can tell the difference between IUD pain and endo pain - it's very different), so I never stopped taking the birth control pills. I was afraid the pain would just get even worse. Except that I took my last one last night.

Since I've been soy (and pain) free, I've gotten the confidence to finally follow the doctor's orders and see if the Mirena really will manage the pain. I'm tired of double-dosing on hormones, and I don't like what it could be doing to my body. So fingers crossed that Mirena can hold up its end of the bargain the way it did in the beginning!

Soy Free Bread

Remember how I said I don't miss bread? I lied. Over the weekend I realized a piece of bread would be amazing, but since store-bought bread has soy in it (!), I was out of luck. Until today. Ta da:

Baking goes well with study days, and today is a study day. I study in spurts of about 20 minutes (scientific studies have actually proven this is a more efficient way to learn and retain material!), so I had to have something else to do when I wasn't memorizing learning biometrics.

There were a couple of user-related complications, but here's the skinny:

That's all you need! A far cry from the 20+ ingredients list on our whole wheat bread from the store.
Ingredients
2 cups warm water (110-120 Fahrenheit, so as not to kill the yeast)
1/3 cup white sugar (I'm sure sugar in the raw works, but you use what you have, right?)
1.5 tablespoons active dry yeast
1.5 teaspoons salt
1/4 cup canola oil (I use canola because I know it's soy free. If you use vegetable oil, just check the label!)
6 cups bread flour

**An aside: I am not paid for or representing any flour brand. BUT, White Lily is the bomb.You can't buy it here (or anywhere north of Virginia), but we stock up when we go home for visits. And yes, there is a difference.
White Lily is the only flour (that I'm aware of) that uses only Soft Red Winter Wheat. That's a wheat plant variety, and usually flour companies mix different types of wheat together to make their flour. White Lily doesn't. It makes the flour thirstier (i.e. it takes more wet ingredients) but the texture of the finished product is fluffier than with other flours. I know this because we've had to use other flours since moving here when we run out of White Lily (which happened this weekend).
SO - after that long rant - if you are blessed enough to have White Lily flour in a store near you, give a try.

Directions
Dissolve the sugar into the warm water, and then add the yeast. Here's where I went wrong - I only added 1.5 teaspoons of yeast, instead of 1.5 tablespoons. Oh well. Anyway, I whisked it just enough for the yeast to be mixed in, and let it sit for about 20 minutes, until the yeast resembled a creamy foam:

See the foam in the middle of the bowl? I'm sure if I'd added the right amount, there would have been abundant foam. Anyway, add the oil next, while stirring, and then salt. After that I switched to the dough hook:

A KitchenAid mixer is not necessary, but wow is it helpful. Add the flour one cup at a time, and the mixer does the rest. It even forms a little dough ball for you:

Transfer the dough ball into a greased bowl (I used a little more canola oil), coating the entire dough ball with oil, and let it sit for one hour, covered with a damp cloth. I forgot to take a picture after it rose. It did rise, too! Punch it down, and divide the dough ball in half, and put each half into a greased 9X5 loaf pan.

Here's where I knew I went wrong - the dough didn't seem like enough split in half, so I re-combined and made one giant loaf. At this point I thought it was because I'd cut the sugar down (original recipe calls for 2/3 cup sugar, I thought I had taken away the yeast's 'food'). Anyway, let the dough sit in the pan(s) uncovered for 30 minutes, or until the dough has risen 1" above the pan. Mine didn't rise 1" above the pan, but it's clearly because less than half of the necessary amount of yeast was present. Bake 30 minutes at 350 Fahrenheit. Enjoy!

And even with the user error, it is amazing. I know now what real bread is supposed to taste and feel like. I think we're going to start baking bread instead of buying it. Brint did the cost analysis (he's a nerd that way) and it's much more economical to bake vs. buy.

Stuff I Miss

I still contend that giving up soy is the best decision I've made regarding my health. I took control, and I'm going on 3 weeks pain free. I think people who feel good most of the time take it for granted. It's amazing to feel 'normal' again, after so many months of pain. But I digress.

Despite all of the rainbows and unicorns that come with a pain-free life, there are still some things I miss:


Being able to eat on the fly. This is the biggie. I have to meticulously plan my meals ahead of time. I've always carried my lunch to work, but now I have to make certain that I carry enough food for the entire day. If I underestimate or end up working longer than planned, I end up starving because running over to the student union is no longer a viable option. I actually have a bag of dried fruit that lives in my car now for this reason.

Spinach artichoke dip. I haven't found a way to make it homemade yet, because sour cream and cream cheese both contain soy. Bummer.

Eating out. We don't eat out often anyway, but we've only eaten out once since I started this and it was a failure. See my falling off the wagon post. It was good, and there was just a tiny bit of pain, but still. I realized then that restaurant food is probably mostly soy with different flavorings and color added. Of course, I can always eat a vegetable-only salad with oil and vinegar dressing when we eat out, but I think Brint feels guilty at this point for suggesting this as a meal option.

Not having to read the ingredients list. I'm not going to stop doing this anytime soon, if ever. But it makes grocery shopping take 10X longer than it used to, because there will inevitably be some amount of soy in the item on my original shopping list, so I then have to A. find a suitable replacement, B. figure out how to make it myself or C. do without. It's just a time consuming process.

I'm sure these things I miss are familiar for anyone with a food intolerance or allergy, especially parents of a child with a food intolerance or allergy. In the end, it's worth the extra effort. But it doesn't make me not miss glimpses of my former life.

Leftovers Pizza

If you haven't caught on yet, my diet isn't super restricted, except that we don't buy prepackaged or processed foods. Instead, we make our own.

We had leftover London Broil and decided to make pizza. Completely soy free pizza, with no preservatives or chemicals that probably  hide soy without my knowledge. Here are the necessary recipes:

Pizza Dough (the best you'll ever taste)
Ingredients
2 cups bread flour (not all-purpose or self-rising. bread flour.)
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons molasses
2.5 teaspoons yeast
1 cup warm water (no warmer than 110 Fahrenheit, or you'll kill the yeast)

Directions
Dissolve yeast in warm water for 10 minutes. Combine all other ingredients in a large bowl. Pour and stir in yeast, working dough into ball. Flour the top of the dough, cover with a damp cloth and let set for one hour.

After one hour, punch down the dough. At this point you can wrap it air-tight and freeze it for future use, or use immediately. When baking, preheat oven to 350 Fahrenheit and bake for 20 minutes.

Tip: When rolling out the pizza dough, it actually helps to toss it from hand to hand; the dough rolls out much easier afterward.

Everyone say hello to Brint...

Pizza Sauce
Ingredients
1 6 ounce can tomato paste (ingredients = tomatoes. That's all.)
1 cup warm water
3 tablespoons parmesan cheese
1 teaspoon minced garlic OR 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
3/4 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon marjoram
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
salt to taste

Directions
Combine all ingredients except water into a bowl. Heat water until warm and stir in. Let sit 20-30 minutes before using.

So after we had the dough rolled out, we decorated it:

That's leftover London Broil with sauteed mushrooms, peppers, and onions plus mozzarella cheese. Very tasty and soy free.

The finished product:

We won't be winning any style points, but it was super tasty.

And a sidenote - I highly recommend a pizza stone. Ours came from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. It's wonderful to bake with and we never have a problem with food sticking. It looks dirty because it can't be washed with soap, just hot water. Apparently the stone will soak up the suds and make food taste like soap. Yuck. So it collects little shadows of former food projects over time.

What kind of pizza will you make?

Soy Free Away From Home

Last night we had dinner with our awesome friends, Taylor and Mr. H. I warned her not to attempt soy-free cooking because it can be a bit of a hassle just starting out, due to the lack of soy free basic ingredients (like butter). She said she'd like to give it a whirl and we had a wonderful dinner!

Grilled chicken breast with Lipton seasoning packs (ranch and I can't remember the other flavor, I had ranch!) The seasoning packs were reported to be soy free!

Spinach salad with crumbled feta cheese. The cheese is in the clear. Cream cheese is the only cheese I've found so far with soy (in the form of xanthan gum).

I had balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing. It had soy, but I think that's okay. I'm going to ingest soy every now and again, even if I'm unaware. And guess what? No pain!

Pasta salad. It was great. I have no idea what she put in it but it was yummy.

For dessert: a lemon chocolate pie. I'll embarrass Tay a bit here - she said she accidentally added lemon flavoring instead of vanilla. It was good! Orange and chocolate go well together, and so did the lemon! It was tangy and chocolatey and sweet all at once.

Plus blackberry wine after dinner.

Sorry for the lack of pictures, I'm a baby blogger and haven't learned to document every single thing yet. But I'm learning.

Moral of the story? It's no big deal. Yeah, I had a little soy last night. I actually had some at lunch yesterday (at a work function that lasted 6 hours in the middle of a corn field - I ate a hamburger and am positive the bun had soy. NBD. Still pain free). I was relieved that I could deviate a bit from the plan and not face overwhelming pain.

My mindset has become one of tolerated control. I will continue to remove every source of soy from my diet possible, but when I can't I'm not going to worry about it. I think it's much better to ingest a bit of soy than to go hungry for several hours.

Oh and in case I forgot - I'm still pain free. It's wonderful.